Happy Birthday!

Hey Jude,

You had your first birthday today! What a year we have had, son. It's probably been on of the most challenging, happiest, scariest, and greatest of my life. And it's all because of you. 

You, sweet boy, are the reason I believe in miracles. 

I kept having flashbacks today of the day you were born. In fact, I crawled into your room this morning at 12:39 and sat indian style beside your crib as you officially became a one-year-old boy. Fat, happy tears rolled down my cheeks as looked at you through the crib slats and was reminded again of the miracle you are.

I listened to your rhythmic breaths and remembered a year ago when that simple action wasn't easy and the hum of the oscillator did most of your breathing for you. I carefully place my hand on your little chest and felt your heartbeat with my fingers--a rhythm I had watched for hours on the monitors in the NICU. I found your sweet fingers and remembered a time when they couldn't quite wrap around one of mine. The boy stretched out in the crib in front of me used to fit comfortably in my sports bra. Then, you rolled over in your sleep to your tummy; a skill we worked for months on. 

You are amazing. I knew it the day you were born and you continue to show me everyday.  Everything you do, you work hard for. You are incredibly patient and quietly determined. You have grown from a tiny, one-pound babe to a crawling, laughing little boy who is almost 18 pounds.

I love you. You are my sunshine and my whole world. Life is so good with you around.

XOXO,

Momma

Looking more like daddy everyday.

Some new blocks!

New books!

Birthday cupcake.

Going for it.

It's your birthday,  you can cry if you want to.

We'll work on eating cake. Don't you worry.